Sunday, August 17, 2003
Hmm... why am I the only one who like to blab the sour things that are happening in my life?
Probably it is because, despite being a frequent writer in the joint ascension, I have been neither enlightened nor ascended, nor elevated in the area of love for quite a while. I am pretty good at starting relationships, but I've never been good at keeping them or ending them. It's difficult to admit that it's hard for me to have a perfectly platonic relationship w.out it getting confused with romance. I make decisions too quickly and end up regretting them. I am attracted to the wrong type of men. My head has a tendency to float up to cloud nine faster than the wonka's great glass elevator could take me... before I know it I'm asking myself, "could this be love?"
Even now, with the horrible lesson I've learned from Richard, I still have not learned how to suppress my feelings of love. Perhaps it is because above all in life i want to be in love and I want to be loved in return. In that perfect, fairy tale sort of way. The way benicio del toro and alicia silverstone fell in love in excess baggage. the way wesley rescued buttercup in the princess bride. the way marius finally realized eponine's love for him right before she died and held her in his arms in les mis. two parts agony, one part joy; shaken and not stirred. All I really am is a hopeless romantic, and that fact has resulted in a love-life that has become rather hopeless.
Probably it is because, despite being a frequent writer in the joint ascension, I have been neither enlightened nor ascended, nor elevated in the area of love for quite a while. I am pretty good at starting relationships, but I've never been good at keeping them or ending them. It's difficult to admit that it's hard for me to have a perfectly platonic relationship w.out it getting confused with romance. I make decisions too quickly and end up regretting them. I am attracted to the wrong type of men. My head has a tendency to float up to cloud nine faster than the wonka's great glass elevator could take me... before I know it I'm asking myself, "could this be love?"
Even now, with the horrible lesson I've learned from Richard, I still have not learned how to suppress my feelings of love. Perhaps it is because above all in life i want to be in love and I want to be loved in return. In that perfect, fairy tale sort of way. The way benicio del toro and alicia silverstone fell in love in excess baggage. the way wesley rescued buttercup in the princess bride. the way marius finally realized eponine's love for him right before she died and held her in his arms in les mis. two parts agony, one part joy; shaken and not stirred. All I really am is a hopeless romantic, and that fact has resulted in a love-life that has become rather hopeless.
