Friday, August 16, 2002
LOVE? Oh yes, that four-lettered word. Sometimes I wonder if I'm capable of love. I mean it. At some point over these last four years I lost footing off of the path of true love, so much so that I feel that I've no more steady reference point to measure my actions, my feelings or my desires. To me, "Love-life" is such an ironical term because whenever I do make love I end up feeling lifeless and cold, like my soul has escaped from my body.
When did all of us chicks grow dicks?
Risk heart and mind just for kicks?
To fake ecstasy will make us sick;
Subject us to courage that cannot stick.
When did all of us chicks grow dicks?
Risk heart and mind just for kicks?
To fake ecstasy will make us sick;
Subject us to courage that cannot stick.
Thursday, August 15, 2002
sherry! i missed you! yikes, do i have a world of juicy information for you...as expected, my love life has been just as bewildering as i thought it would become. exhilirating, yes, but certainly confusing, as i feel like i'm being pulled in exactly 4 different directions. not quite unlike being drawn and quartered! the aforementioned booty-call has been put on hold while i decide what the hell i'm doing with my love-life, since despite my wholehearted efforts at being a heartless bitch, i still would feel guilty sleeping with more than one person at a time. why so much self-inflicted guilt??? must be some vestige of my long-term relationship rut. yuck.
hey, i'm going to hook up some shrooms and drive to joshua tree this saturday with stella to stare at the stars!
i lagged on the andy warhol tix and am now too broke to buy any....plus, since i got in a friggen car accident AGAIN today (don't worry, i'm fine and i was rear-ended so it's not my fault) i think i will be spending saturday getting estimates to fix my car. this is a very bad-luck year for me.
hey, i'm going to hook up some shrooms and drive to joshua tree this saturday with stella to stare at the stars!
i lagged on the andy warhol tix and am now too broke to buy any....plus, since i got in a friggen car accident AGAIN today (don't worry, i'm fine and i was rear-ended so it's not my fault) i think i will be spending saturday getting estimates to fix my car. this is a very bad-luck year for me.
Wow, I'm back! Back home in LA where the palms are artificial and overything is rolled over by a layer of thick, crusty concrete.
I don't mean to sound so negative but there's nothing like living in Costa Rica for a month to change your perspective on nature and land use. 29% of Costa Rica's land is protected within National Parks. At the same time, Costa Rica has one of the highest deforestation rates per unit area in the world.
To be there was like watching a battle. On one side you have all the indigenous people, the Grassroots Participatory Development geezers, the Granola girls and boys hugging trees and trampling through the jungle to try to save what's left.
On the other side you have the U.S., white people of Spanish descent, conniving pharmaceutical companies just waiting to discover the next big wonder drug before they set a torch to it all.
It makes me understand a bit more why everyone hates the U.S. so much. I don't mean the pompous Europeans overseas who think they're so much better than we are. I mean the poor, impoverished Third World who have to endure America's ideas and policies on "development." I mean the individuals who were happy living their lives and sustaining their culture and families, until somebody thought it would be great idea to bring tractors in. I'm talking about la indigena who eveyday must suffer the humiliation of being an alien in their own homes.
When I came back to LA, I'd almost felt like I'd never left at all. Costa rica was like a dream i'd woken up from, slowly, sadly melting away before my very eyes.
I don't mean to sound so negative but there's nothing like living in Costa Rica for a month to change your perspective on nature and land use. 29% of Costa Rica's land is protected within National Parks. At the same time, Costa Rica has one of the highest deforestation rates per unit area in the world.
To be there was like watching a battle. On one side you have all the indigenous people, the Grassroots Participatory Development geezers, the Granola girls and boys hugging trees and trampling through the jungle to try to save what's left.
On the other side you have the U.S., white people of Spanish descent, conniving pharmaceutical companies just waiting to discover the next big wonder drug before they set a torch to it all.
It makes me understand a bit more why everyone hates the U.S. so much. I don't mean the pompous Europeans overseas who think they're so much better than we are. I mean the poor, impoverished Third World who have to endure America's ideas and policies on "development." I mean the individuals who were happy living their lives and sustaining their culture and families, until somebody thought it would be great idea to bring tractors in. I'm talking about la indigena who eveyday must suffer the humiliation of being an alien in their own homes.
When I came back to LA, I'd almost felt like I'd never left at all. Costa rica was like a dream i'd woken up from, slowly, sadly melting away before my very eyes.
