Wednesday, July 16, 2003
oh, and your lack of O! is definitely a serious problem, but not on your part...it's his responsibility and i hope he realizes that abundance of O! is integral to a happy and fulfilled relationship.
dammit, my posts keep getting erased. for the third time....
i agree with janet and carrie. he needs to relax a LOT and stop treating you the way he's treating you, but knowing how stubborn he is, I doubt that he will stop. I think he really truly believes he is right. but you can't force someone to pay attention to you or care about you more, so his complaints are only hurting the situation. and given the fact that you do pay him a whole lot of attention, i really don't know what he's complaining about in the first place. it's strange because i would have never guessed that he would treat you this way...
it really seems that the person he wants is someone he created in his own mind long before you came into the picture, and the fact that you are not this person, but your own person, is not at all your fault. it worries me that he is so demanding so early on, because if you have to bend over backwards to pacify him now, what's going to happen when he feels more confortable around you and pulls out all the stops? he's never going to be able to change you, and he needs to realize that and accept you for the amazing person you are.
i think that people change, but only for themselves, and though you may change for the short-term in a relationship, you will always revert to the way you were before because the change was not an autonomous deicsion on your part, but prompted by someone else. i don't think you can ever be as "conservative and virtuous" as richard wants you to be, unless you really want to be that way for yourself.
demanding more time from you is ridiculous since you are both soon going to be very busy people, and once you start school, he can't really expect to talk to you four hours a day or see you more than once or twice a week, so why in the world is he whining now? you should let him know that once school starts, it will be your priority, not him, because it would really suck to have arguments on top of your schoolwork. it's only a few weeks away, so i wonder if he expects the same amount of attention from you when you obviously will have far more important things to worry about.
arguments about "time" and "attention" and "security" are always pointless, and solutions can't be arrived at when you are so far apart. you have done nothing wrong, so there's no reason for you to be treated like some sort of potential wrongdoer.
don't feel that you need to compromise, because you yourself told me "don't ever settle!" i have very rarely heard of guys who need this much attention, and in the cases that i have heard of, the guy ends up losing the girl because who the hell can stand this shit for long, you know? he's just being overly needy, period.
i agree with janet and carrie. he needs to relax a LOT and stop treating you the way he's treating you, but knowing how stubborn he is, I doubt that he will stop. I think he really truly believes he is right. but you can't force someone to pay attention to you or care about you more, so his complaints are only hurting the situation. and given the fact that you do pay him a whole lot of attention, i really don't know what he's complaining about in the first place. it's strange because i would have never guessed that he would treat you this way...
it really seems that the person he wants is someone he created in his own mind long before you came into the picture, and the fact that you are not this person, but your own person, is not at all your fault. it worries me that he is so demanding so early on, because if you have to bend over backwards to pacify him now, what's going to happen when he feels more confortable around you and pulls out all the stops? he's never going to be able to change you, and he needs to realize that and accept you for the amazing person you are.
i think that people change, but only for themselves, and though you may change for the short-term in a relationship, you will always revert to the way you were before because the change was not an autonomous deicsion on your part, but prompted by someone else. i don't think you can ever be as "conservative and virtuous" as richard wants you to be, unless you really want to be that way for yourself.
demanding more time from you is ridiculous since you are both soon going to be very busy people, and once you start school, he can't really expect to talk to you four hours a day or see you more than once or twice a week, so why in the world is he whining now? you should let him know that once school starts, it will be your priority, not him, because it would really suck to have arguments on top of your schoolwork. it's only a few weeks away, so i wonder if he expects the same amount of attention from you when you obviously will have far more important things to worry about.
arguments about "time" and "attention" and "security" are always pointless, and solutions can't be arrived at when you are so far apart. you have done nothing wrong, so there's no reason for you to be treated like some sort of potential wrongdoer.
don't feel that you need to compromise, because you yourself told me "don't ever settle!" i have very rarely heard of guys who need this much attention, and in the cases that i have heard of, the guy ends up losing the girl because who the hell can stand this shit for long, you know? he's just being overly needy, period.
